Helldesk: IT support for the damned

You run IT support for Hell.

Hell just went digital, and you’re the only tech. Run cable through brimstone, subnet the damned, keep Cerberus’s three monitors lit, and firewall the gates of Dis. Every fix follows real standards, and every sin files a ticket.

In development · private playtest running

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TICKET #0661P3 ยท RESOLVED

Aristotle

Circle 1, Limbo

“My screen has become a void. Fitting, but inconvenient.”

Real problem
The monitor is on the wrong input.
Real fix
Check power, then select the correct input source.
CLOSED

The jokes are infernal. The fixes are real.

Helldesk is a 2D network and hardware support sim. Tickets take a few minutes; the whole descent takes you from swapping a monitor input to running BGP.

  • Real fixes only

    The sim obeys real rules. A /25 has 126 usable hosts, copper Ethernet stops at 100 meters, and a switching loop without spanning tree floods the network.

  • Is it plugged in? Then BGP

    Each circle adds one new family of systems, so difficulty climbs one concept at a time.

  • The joke makes it stick

    Every concept gets an infernal metaphor that maps exactly. Legion, “for we are many,” is port address translation.

  • Readable chaos

    Link lights, traces, logs, and a terminal. When something breaks, you can always find out why.

  • Short sessions, long arc

    A ticket takes a few minutes. A circle takes an evening or two.

  • Tools you earn

    The subnet calculator unlocks only after you solve a subnetting ticket by hand. The same goes for the cable tester and packet trace.

The descent

A tutorial and nine circles, each adding one new system. The deeper you go, the hotter it gets, until the very bottom, where it freezes.

  1. The VestibuleCircle 0: Tutorial

    Charon’s ferry drops you at orientation. Your predecessor “moved on.”

    The ticket queue, inspecting gear, asking the requester, patching, verifying, closing.

  2. LimboCircle 1: Hardware basics

    Polite ancient philosophers get their first PCs.

    Troubleshooting method, power and peripherals, printers, copper cabling, link lights.

  3. LustCircle 2: Wireless

    The eternal winds now blow the Wi-Fi around.

    Wi-Fi bands and channels, access point placement, WPA2 and WPA3, Bluetooth.

  4. GluttonyCircle 3: Addressing

    Gluttons hoard addresses. Cerberus guards the wing.

    IPv4, subnet masks and CIDR, gateways, DHCP and leases, APIPA.

  5. GreedCircle 4: Builds and storage

    Hoarders fill every disk. Wasters delete the ledgers.

    PC and server builds, RAID, backups, budgets and quotes.

  6. WrathCircle 5: Firewalls

    The wrathful brawl in the Styx. Fallen angels bar the gates of Dis.

    TCP and UDP, ports, ordered firewall rules, NAT, port forwarding.

  7. HeresyCircle 6: Names and accounts

    Heretics in burning tombs deny that anything exists.

    DNS, accounts and least privilege, multi-factor sign-in, mail and SPF.

  8. ViolenceCircle 7: Switching and routing

    The Minotaur’s labyrinth, and centaurs on the boiling river.

    VLANs, trunks, spanning tree, static routes, OSPF.

  9. FraudCircle 8: Security operations

    Ten ditches of Malebolge, patrolled by demons.

    Phishing, malware, logs and alerts, incident response, and red-team raids you defend live.

  10. TreacheryCircle 9: Data center

    Frozen Cocytus, where Lucifer’s wings are the cooling system.

    Power and cooling, high availability, monitoring, BGP, IPv6.

This is the planned campaign. Details will change as we build and test.

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